


secret's out

by tellmore



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Boyfriends, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attack, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, crying cody hurts my heart, noel is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 04:19:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19881526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tellmore/pseuds/tellmore
Summary: cody's been acting weird, noel's gonna get to the bottom of it.he wasn't quite ready for what he found out.





	secret's out

**Author's Note:**

> don't show this to cody or noel. this work is purely fiction and for anyone who loves hurt/comfort as much as i do. 
> 
> also this has some really heavy shit, please read the tags before reading the fic
> 
> catch me on [tumblr](https://tinycody.tumblr.com)

"Cody's been off lately, right?" Noel says to Devon. "Like, ever since he got back from Canada?" He shrugs, not looking up from his game. "Man, I don't know. He's your boyfriend. He's with you most of the time."

Noel nods. "Yeah, I know. But-" "You know how Cody gets sometimes, bro." Devon cut in, "He's probably off in his own head thinking about some weird shit for a new video or something."

Noel did know that. Noel also knew that even though Cody got short and distant with everyone else, he didn't get that way with him. He'd seen it, even. At dinners with a group of their mutal friends, in meetings, even when recording with other people. He'd shut down, stop talking completely. And as soon as those people left, he was back to normal Cody with him. 

Instead of saying anything else, he just shrugged it off and decided to drop the topic with Devon. He wasn't sure why he wasn't just asking Cody himself, anyway.

Standing in their kitchen, a week later, watching Cody fix them lunch, Noel decides to ask. 

"Hey, Codes?" Noel didn't want Cody to think it was a confrontation, or scare him off, especially if it was something Noel himself did. So, pull out the nickname only he was allowed to call him. Perfect.

Except, not perfect. Because Cody had his back to Noel and he tensed so hard that he could see it from the other side of the counter. "Yeah?"

Noel took a deep breath. He wasn't sure why this felt so.. heavy. They'd talked about feelings countless times before. Talked each other down from an anxiety attack. Let each other vent when they had a stressful day. They'd been through all the ups and downs. They'd been together for over a year, but Noel knew this was different. He could feel it. 

"Are you okay?"

"Why would I not be?" Cody asked, too quickly, too much like he was defending himself. Still not turning around to face him.

Noel closed his eyes, this was exactly what he wanted to avoid. "I'm not trying to come at you, baby. Really. I'm just worried about you. We haven't had sex in a few weeks and that's okay, I just.. You've been distant from me. We're not usually like that.." Noel swallowed. "Did I do something?"

Cody turned around at that. His eyes were red. Cheeks flushed. He looked.. hurt. "Did you? What? No. No, I-I promise. I'm just stressed, I guess. I-"

"You're not just stressed, baby. I know you." Noel cut off Cody's rambling. He wanted Cody to open up to him. He wanted to help him. 

Cody looked defeated. Imagine lying to a lie detector. He wasn't going to be able to keep dodging the questions. Noel knew him too well. 

Noel slumped back in the bar stool on the other side of the counter from Cody. "Can you please tell me?" 

He just shook his head. The fork in Cody's hand was trembling so hard he dropped it, the sound scaring himself. Noel got off his seat and slowly walked over to the other boy.

"Baby, hey, it's okay." Noel started, rubbing his hands slowly up and down Cody's arms. "Let's go sit on the couch, yeah?"

Cody nodded and allowed Noel to lead him to the living room, the lunch he was making abandoned. "I'm sorry.."

Noel shook his head. "No, don't do that. It's alright." The two boys sat on the couch. Noel turned to the side to look at Cody. "What's going on?"

Cody's eyes filled with tears and Noel pulled him into a hug. Cody started crying softly and Noel almost froze. He'd never seen or heard Cody cry. Instead, he held him tighter and cradled the back of his head.

"It's so bad, Noel.." Cody manged to get out. He started sobbing into the crook of Noel's shoulder.

"Nothing is too bad to tell me, baby." Noel whispered to him, rubbing his back. "I promise."

Cody was clinging to Noel, gripping him as tightly as he could. He pulled back and wiped his eyes, looking at Noel. Noel held the other boy's hands in his, rubbing the back of Cody's hands with his thumbs. He waited for Cody to talk next.

Cody took a deep, shaky breath. He looked Noel in the eyes and Noel's heart sank. Cody looks defeated. He's got dark circles under his red, watery, eyes. He looks like he hasn't been eating well, or drinking water, Noel isn't really sure. Instead of saying anything, he just squeezed Cody's hands tighter.

"When I went to visit my family, back in Canada, I was really excited," Cody started saying, looking down at his and Noel's joined hands. "I was gonna get to see my parents, my sister.." He swallowed and looked in Noel's eyes. "And I did get to, and it was great.. But, I saw someone else too and... And I'm not sure what to do or, or how to feel about it." He was starting to get nervous and ramble again. 

Noel reached a hand up and pushed Cody's hair back. "You're not sure how to feel about what?" He asked gently. Cody closed his eyes at that. Fresh tears poured through his closed lids and Noel wasn't sure how much more his heart could take.

Cody leaned his head forward, onto Noel's shoulder. "My dad's brother, my uncle.." Noel started to rub his back, staying silent and hoping that got him to talk more. 

"He's the worst, Noel. When.. Before I moved out here, he was at our house for a dinner party. My going away party. He was staying the night. My family went to bed and he moved over to where I was sitting.. He made me feel so weak, Noel." Cody was sobbing again, he wrapped his arms around Noel's waist and was holding on as tight as he could. 

Noel continued to run his fingers up and down his spine. He had a gut feeling about what Cody was trying to tell him. "How'd he do that, sweetheart?" He said softly.

"He lived with us once when he was between jobs.. He.. Noel." Cody choked out a loud sob and covered his mouth. "He.. He touched me, Noel. All the fucking time."

Noel squeezed his eyes shut as tears burned them. He held Cody tighter, if that was possible. "Cody, I.."

"Before I left, It.. It got worse. He went too far.. He.. It had been so long. Since any of it.. And.. He. Noel-"

"I'm here," Noel whispered to him. "I'm here."

"He raped me." Cody said, so quietly that the other boy almost missed it. "A-and I had to see him again and.. It brought it all back and-" His crying got out of control, he was on the verge of a panic attack. Noel pulled back and held Cody's face in his hands. 

"Hey, baby, you gotta breathe, okay?" Cody just shook his head. "I'm here, I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Noel pulled him back to his chest. He began to slowly rock Cody as he cried. "I've got you. I got you."

Cody gripped a hand in Noel's shirt, holding on as tight as he could. "It.. It hurt so bad, Noel." He let out a whimper. "It hurt so bad.. I felt so helpless. I never wanted anyone to know.." Cody burried his face in Noel's neck. "I feel helpless all over again." He said, barely audiable, barely above a whisper. 

Noel smoothed Cody's hair back and softly kissed his cheek. "Baby, I'm so sorry." He started. "I'm so sorry he hurt you, Cody. I want to protect you from all the bad in the world, did you know that?" Cody looked up at him and nodded slowly. "I know that you may not feel like it right now, but you're the furthest, furthest thing from helpless." He wiped the tears off of Cody's cheeks, as gently as he could. 

"You're so strong." Cody started to shake his head, "No, I mean it." Noel said to him, looking him in his tear filled eyes. "You are so strong, and so brave." Cody layed his head on Noel's shoulder. "I love you." Cody said gently, his voice was full of pain. Noel was going to make sure that pain went away. "I love you too, baby. So much."

They stayed that way for a long time. Noel whispering to him, holding him. Cody held onto Noel as if he was the only thing keeping him together. In Cody's head, he really was. 

Noel had so many questions running through his head. Does anyone else know? Did Cody ever see a doctor? Did he need to tell Cody's parents? No- This was Cody's secret to keep or tell. Noel wanted what was best for him. He didn't know what he was and wasn't allowed to ask, but he knew he had to ask one really important question.

"Did he.. Did he, when you went to visit?" Noel didn't want to ask, but he needed to. Cody shook his head. "No." Noel nodded and kissed Cody on the forhead. His lips lingered for a bit longer than normal. "I love you. I mean it." Noel said to Cody. He looked up at him with wide, watery eyes. "Even now?"

Noel kissed his cheeks, his nose, chin, under both eyes, then his forhead again. "I always will. You've got me too hooked to get rid of me now."

Cody smiled at that. "I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> this could be a more than one part series? i'd love to write more about their relationship after this. or the actions that led noel to know something was up. lemme know!!


End file.
